May 2012
6 posts
Things I Shouldn't Think
Why couldn’t I be strong enough? Why couldn’t I do the things I needed to do? Why didn’t I love…Never mind. I was strong enough. I did as much as I could do. And I still feel more than I will ever feel for anyone else, if I live to be a thousand years old.
It would have taken miracles. And there were plenty of those. (That truck didn’t kill me. The strangers were too...
How I Tumblr
I follow a lot of people on tumblr. I follow because I find them interesting or I think that they say things or show things that I need to hear/see.
I mostly follow people who have photo/video only tumbr sites. Color catches my eye mostly, but I also follow some that have really amazing black-and-white photos that seem to tell a story.
I love stories. I wish I could tell them like these people...
I Had Plans
Eleven years ago I had lots of plans. I was going to be with the man of my dreams. Then someone turned the world upside down on me. I was too weak. I was too broken. I did things I should never have done. I should have waited. If I had I wouldn’t be this miserable, now.
I was going to write. I was going to write novels and poetry and songs. I was going to live the life I should have been...
You Have To . . .
Be what you are.
You have to feel what you feel.
The whole thing about “I cried because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet” is just a perspective thing.
It doesn’t mean you can’t be sad because your life is in whatever state it is in. Maybe you shouldn’t be AS sad as someone who is WAY worse off than you, I mean there are degrees, but you are allowed...
May 3, 2012 →
April 2012
5 posts
If Only. . .
Things didn’t have to be about: ME!
People will tell you you’re selfish. Guess what? Everybody is.
The only reason we get up in the mornings and feed ourselves and wash and get dressed and do — absolutely anything at all — is for OURSELVES.
We want it to be for YOU. We want to love YOU more than we want to take our next breath, but we don’t, we can’t. In that...
April 5, 2012 →
I Have To Say Something
I’ve been posting things to peoples “Ask” sections, today, just because I feel like I have to say something. I feel so inadequate and sort of weird. I mean this is “social” media, but I’ve never been “social”. I wish I could be the sisters or aunts or best friends to some of these people. I’m not. I’m just someone who...
Whoever Said. . .
It’s not okay to be unhappy?
I can be perfectly fine and be unhappy. I mean, being JUST unhappy doesn’t make me horribly sick or anything.
Depression is not being unhappy. It’s something different, it’s a chemical thing, a brain thing. I don’t want to be depressed. I don’t want anyone to be depressed.
But unhappy? If, every so often, you/I just need to sit...
Dear N., -- Because I have to let it out. →
March 2012
6 posts
(More) Things That I Shouldn't Know →
Dear N. →
That Last Post
Started out as something entirely different. I saw something that made me want to scream. Something innocuous. Something faintly cute. Something that made me instantly crazy. Someone got married. To someone a lot younger than them. No one connected to me — oh, there are connections, there are always connections — but it made me think of things that I’ve been going through in my...
Here or There
Things are so different now than they used to be. When I was 14, I had a crush on Sting and David Bowie and Frank Langella and a half dozen others. I was a kid and hugely fickle. Everything I knew about anything I learned from two places: television and the library. School? Nah. A little, maybe. Mostly how to be ignored because you weren’t cheerleader beautiful or nerd smart. (I made As in...
A While
I don’t come here much anymore. Have too much writing to do, too much house work, to much Real Life. I wish I could keep up with everything. I wish I could sleep more. I wish wishes really did come true.
As it is things you want, you must be motivated to actually go out and get. I have only felt such motivation twice in my life and been horribly disappointed both times. I try to motivate...
February 2012
1 post
Why I Shouldn't (Can't) Write Before 5 A.M. →
January 2012
3 posts
Things That Should Not Exist →
Something (Anything)
Listening to music. (Not one particular artist, but several different ones. — Rhapsody is calling it Matchbox Twenty Radio.) Trying to get up the desire to continue the story of Teddy and Doc, or write more bits and pieces of the Novel. I feel like I’m empty. I’ve tried to write a couple of long posts on the main site. I have several drafts that are just gigantic wads of hurt...
Inspired Bits (of intentional snark)
(Looking over this thing I realized it made little to no sense to those not living inside my brain. It’s meant to be a sort of Random non-something or other. I didn’t list the titles of the songs for a very specific reason. So, if you are reading this, -and I doubt very much that you are- just supply your own personal soundtrack. Much of what has been said here could be said about many...
December 2011
1 post
October 2011
1 post
It's Been A Long Time, Baby
(I wrote this back in October. I let myself be too hurt by things that I have no control over. Since that day I’ve learned that jealousy and anger only cause pain and destruction. I’ve let go of jealousy and what I thought was anger. Love, which I still feel for this person, is too precious to be discarded for pettiness. I leave this — slightly edited — version here, only...
April 2010
2 posts
What Is This Thing Called Life?
It is unfathomable. We wake up in the morning, with the day stretched out before us and we begin to make our choices. Do we get up and go to work or do we get up and go to the park? Or … Do we get up at all? I could use another six or seven hours of sleep, on any given day.
What amazes me is those who wake up in the morning and make the choice to go out and do something incredibly...
Here I Am
Took me long enough to wander over here. Just thought I’d check the place out.
I’ll be back in a few to see if I can get the feel of things.
See yah!